"This I Believe" - Lay Led Service
"This I Believe" - Lay Led Service
[Ed.'s note: There are three audio recordings from this service, at the bottom of this web page: (1) Bob MacWilliams, "This I Believe", (2) Carolyn Shoemaker, "This I Believe", and (3) Dana Hanson, "Reflections on Teaching". The page starts with the text of "This I Believe by Bob MacWilliams, followed by "This I Believe" from Carolyn Shoemaker.]
Following are the words from Bob MacWilliam's:
Bob MacWilliams – This I Believe, January 8 2012
As you probably know, during the Coming of Age year we “ask” each candidate to write about what is meaningful, moving, or important to them in life, and then read it for the congregation. I’ve had the very rewarding experience of being a Coming of Age mentor twice, and my daughter Bess has also gone through the program. It has always struck me that confronting this question head on – what is life about - and sharing the answers in public, is a very intimidating challenge....especially in a Unitarian culture, which frowns on dogma, group think, and pre-answered questions.
My wife and I have talked about how comforting it must be, especially in the face of great difficulty, to have a clear, well defined explanation for everything - with clear guidelines, a benficent ruler, and a joyful afterlife to look forward to with all your friends and loved ones.
But without that set of ready answers, I have to look deeply into my own experience, feelings, thoughts and at the experience and reflections of others, to come up with a sense of why the heck this is all here. I believe that like the C-O-A candidates, we adult Unitarians should be doing this exercise as well - making ourselves face these questions head on, try to formulate and then share our findings, and use them to guide our daily lives.
But life is so busy, and besides, we pretty much know what we know, right? My answer is – yes and no. I think that explicitly confronting what I think and feel life is about on a regular basis reminds me what is really important to me, and gives me the opportunity to step back once again and look at the big picture.
And it’s rewarding, because trying to live life in pursuit of understanding, in pursuit of awareness, of awakeness... this is a treasure, a profound adventure that noone can take away from me.
So here are some of my beliefs and perceptions I’d like to share:
- Giving up is harder than trying. When I am particularly down, feeling overwhelmed, or discouraged it always, eventually dawns on me that I can feel bad for as long as I want, but it’s not going to make it any better. So I might as well be kind of crazy/brave and push through it. What do I have to lose? I’d rather go out of this world dancing. I find that this realization can actually flip my brain state from one of extreme discouragement or fatigue, to one of determination and willingness to risk, to try. And it doesn’t require any leap of faith or deep insight. There’s an old familiar phrase, why bother trying? I like to flip this – why bother giving up?
- We are all suffering. I was walking through Harvard Square last summer, looking at the young college students I passed by, and they looked so happy, so carefree – ah, the freedom and joy of youth. Then it struck me- each one of them has many hard decisions to make – what next? Stay in town or move on? Stay with my partner? Go to grad school? etc... I think we tend to see others, especially people we don’t know, as static – like snapshot in a magazine ad. But it’s not true. Everyone we see is in motion, is in the middle of their own stories.. we are all struggling, right in the middle of what’s already happened to us, with where we are now, and what’s next. Riding the city bus to work it struck me again – every single person on this bus is dealing with their story line – family, money, illness......aspirations, fears and disappointments. Everyone is suffering, worrying, or hungering for something. This was a revelation for me.
- I declare a truce with everything. As part of my genetic inheritance I have a tendency to get angry at things when I feel pushed. I don’t like this trait, but it’s how I’m wired. And in trying to grapple with this it struck me that it’s really a response to a perceived enemy – whenever something is threatening, annoying, scary - I unconsciously make it an enemy. Rude drivers, extremist politicians, stubborn pets, buggy computers, illness......my own weaknesses and vulnerabilities....life itself. This is a natural response, but I want to recognize it for what it is and take the leap of lettiing go of my “right” to be defensive. And it really feels like a leap to me: so I declare an unconditional, unilateral, truce with all things – especially the things and people that annoy, frighten, anger, or threaten me. I do not want to be at war with life, or with the universe any more.
- I carry my scripts in my face. I worry about things; I hang onto things – resentments, opinions, strategies, fantasies. I declared that unconditional truce, but I find myself getting caught up again and again in these things I call “scripts” for shorthand. And I’ve noticed that when I am in that state, my face is contorted. Always. Once I become aware of this, and let those facial muscles relax, I am in a very different emotional/mental state. This is a blessing because it’s so simple and physical – at least once a day, try relaxing your face – feel it relax. As a result you might notice that it’s quieter in your head.
- I don’t need to “fix” the universe. I feel like there’s this constant underlying premise that things are screwed up, and somehow we screwed them up. In the Irish Catholicism in which I was raised, this is expressed very explicitly as “original sin.” Even if we consciously reject this notion, it seems ingrained in us - we are all trying to fix the world. Of course, there’s a lot of suffering, cruelty, and injustice in this world, and it’s natural to want to help things get better. But unless I’m mistaken, people didn’t design and construct the solar system, the evolution of the species, the building blocks of matter and energy. Not only did we not break it, it’s not broken.
Those are the beliefs I wanted to share today:
Giving up is harder than trying.
We are all suffering.
I declare a truce with everything.
I carry my scripts in my face.
I don’t need to “fix” the universe.
It’s amazing every Spring to hear our young adults share their profound insights, honest opinions, and passionate feelings. I personally would also love to hear from others in our congregation, as we all move through the different phases of life – from college grads, young workers, new parents, coupled and uncoupled, middle aged and senior members – please share with me: what have you learned? what do you believe life is about?
[Following are the words of Carolyn Shoemaker]
This I Believe – Carolyn Shoemaker Jan. 8, 2012
My family and I began coming to FUSN in 2001. Over the years, one of the things I have loved is hearing the stories of others’ experiences and reflections—because it personalizes FUSN for me. And although I’ve been up here before, it’s a lot easier to help promote the joys of going to Ferry Beach than to put my beliefs into words. But I’m going to try.
I was raised by two very liberal parents—my mom a graduate of Wellesley College, my dad a high school grad from rural Maryland. They met overseas, and one of the things they shared their whole life together was a politically liberal view of the world. As my father was transferred frequently, I went to an array of liberal Protestant churches—Presbyterian, Dutch Reformed, Methodist.
In the 60”s, as a teenager, I had little to rebel against—my parents were involved in civil rights, were antiwar, and supportive of environmental and women’s issues. My mom’s car had McGovern and Planned Parenthood stickers on the bumper. Perfect, right?
So what did I finally find to rebel against—as one has to find something. I rebelled against their certainty. I rebelled against their close-mindedness-- that theirs’ was the one “right” view. And even more—that they had no curiosity about why someone else saw the world differently. And what that meant in our house, is that they were certain about who my sister and I were and should be. Anything that didn’t fit their view was suspect and dismissed with “oh you don’t want to do/think that”!
In my 20’s this led me to what I now see as that convenient UU cul de sac—well, I know what I don’t believe!
Fast forward 20 years. I’m newly married and starting down a path that, in hindsight, was one of my first identifiably UU acts—and that was the adoption of our children. Adoption as a process is an amazing gift. Everyone in the adoption triangle—birthparents, adopted child and adoptive parents—has loss as well as gratitude. For the birthmother it is the loss of her biological child and her dream of raising that child. Her gratitude is being in control, in our case, of choosing a family to raise that child, and knowing that her child is safe and secure. For the adopted child it is the breaking of that original biological bond and the gain of a family who can provide both love and stability. For the adoptive parents it is the loss of their dream—the “ideal” of pregnancy and a genetically related child. But I actually experienced THAT supposed loss to be the most freeing aspect of adoption.
With adoption, it seems to me, I was so much clearer that this child had her own essence—an unknown seed. And she would grow and blossom in the magic of her own unfolding. None of her qualities, positive or challenging, could be attributed to our relatives. She danced like herself, not like my mother in law. She was good at math or strong willed as herself, not my mother. Her gifts and her challenges came from who SHE is, not the weight of particular family members.
And so, in hindsight, adoption was an expression of my UU beliefs—that individuals find their OWN path and their OWN meaning. And this is one of my strongly held beliefs--- that we have an essence and an unfolding that is unique to us.
When I was asked to speak about what I believe, I thought—that’s a tall order! I don’t see my beliefs as falling on a spectrum of theist to atheist, or any other religious paradigm. I came to FUSN looking for comfort and reflection after 9/11. I found community, connection and belonging—so much more than I knew I was seeking. But over the years I realized that I’ve turned the corner from “FUSNite” to UU. As best I can put it, I found the MEANING within the aspects of religion I had always loved—I loved the ritual, the music, the belonging.
One very significant example of finding the meaning for me is in Christmas. I’ve always loved everything about Christmas except the idea that it celebrates the birth of the “son of god”. I‘ve lived with that gap for most of my life. When I heard the interpretation that we celebrate the gift of every child’s birth-- and each one’s potential to change the world—I felt like I had found the spiritual meaning, the belief, in Christmas. Through the years of Small Group Ministry, chats over the community breakfast table, Sandy Island, sermons and song, I have been on a path of finding the meaning for me.
I believe in each individual’s unique essence, their possibility and their own path. I believe that we all hold the spirit of life, and I am curious to know what you believe and why.
