“Addiction Recovery:
Life Lessons for Us
All”
by
Rev. Dr. Denis
Meacham
Sermon Delivered at
First Unitarian Society
In West Newton, MA
October 23, 2011
One of the important
teachers in my life was a remarkable man named Lee. Lee was a father, a
musician, and an attorney who worked in academic administration in Boston. My introduction to Lee, however, was not at
all auspicious. In fact, I thought he was a little wacky when I met him at one
of the first AA meetings I ever attended. He went up to the podium that night
to tell his story, and he started by introducing himself this way: “Hi. My name
is Lee and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic.” Grateful to be an alcoholic,
I remember thinking? This guy has had way too many martinis. But I soon learned
better.
Now nobody wants
to be an alcoholic or drug addict. Nobody I know ever got up one morning,
stretched, and announced, “Well, from here on out, it’s the life of an addict
for me!” But for Lee, with twenty years of recovery when I met him, the
disorder had been a blessing. Just as cancer was for Rachel Remen’s patient in
this morning’s reading, a serious illness can be a teacher of profound life
lessons. With an urgency that the vast majority of nonaddicted people never
experience, recovering addicts must look deeply into their lives to find a
foothold for the climb out of despair and for healing to take place. I am not
speaking here about biological healing; after removal of the offending
substance or behavior, the indicators of an addict’s physical health often
return to normal relatively quickly. The healing I am speaking about is
essentially spiritual—spiritual growth toward a new, central, life-defining
meaning, freely and continuously chosen. Without such growth, life without the
addictive substance or behavior can be as desperate as addiction—a living
nightmare, or just downright impossible, with relapse ever looming. While 12-step
programs and psychotherapy can contribute to such growth—indeed, they are often
essential—the spiritual path of the recovering addict requires something more.
It requires regular and deep self-evaluation, wrestling with demons old and
new, weighing new values, defining a new way of being in the world, and then
continuously revisiting this way of being to test its moral and practical
worth. It means a fundamental reconnection to self, others, and the life force,
the mystery of being. The people who are successful in this struggle seem to
move beyond addiction and sobriety to another level of life. It’s as though the
climb to lasting sobriety becomes a springboard to self-integration and a
spiritual peacefulness that includes physical health but is much bigger. I have
come to believe—and this is the critical point of my message this morning—that
there are valuable lessons for us all in how these folks approach life.
If you gathered a
thousand addicts—some still active, others with varying lengths of sobriety—and
separated out those who have reached a stable recovery marked by spiritual
centeredness, you would end up with a relatively small group, say, 80 people.
No addictions expert could have predicted which 80 they would be, nor can
anybody explain scientifically why these people were successful in their
recovery efforts and others were not. We don’t know why some people become
addicts and we don’t know why some people and not others recover. But if you
look at the lives and the behaviors of those 80 people with long-term recovery
and who are essentially at peace with life, you will notice some common
characteristics.
In my years working
with addiction I have identified 10 such characteristics, or strategies, that
seem to mark the lives of people in long-term, stable recovery. All 10 may not
be present in every recovering person, but their occurrence is so common that
they should be considered equally compelling. The first four relate to the
maintenance of physical and emotional health. The other six may be seen as
components of a spiritual discipline with transformative power. Such discipline
has lead many people to an enviably productive, spiritually full and serene
life. It should also be noted that these healing strategies are virtually
identical to those endorsed by the experts in stress management. The
mismanagement of stress is, by the way, the underlying cause of most visits to
the doctor. So here are my ten life lessons from people in long-term stable
recovery—a gift from them to us, a bag of gold dropped in our path.
Number one is
attention to good nutrition. The important point here is not only nutritional
balance but also establishing a schedule of regular mealtimes so that one can
avoid prolonged hunger. Not only is the discipline of a meal schedule itself
valuable, but the emptiness and cravings stimulated by missed meals can be a
trigger for upsetting mood swings. Good nutrition also means avoiding
immoderate use of such stimulants as caffeine and sugar, whose psychological
effects can mimic the rush and withdrawal associated with stimulant drugs,
whether or not one has ever been a drug addict.
Number two is the
maintenance of a schedule of regular exercise. In addition to being good for
the heart, lungs, bones, and muscles, the discipline of regular exercise is one
antidote to the loss of structure and stability that can come with a busy life.
And it is a powerful relaxation tool. Sustained aerobic exercise unleashes the
natural, morphine-like brain chemicals that are responsible for the so-called
runner’s high, which is completely legal.
Number three is a
well-exercised sense of humor, especially directed at oneself. Not only is
laughing fun, but there is strong evidence that, like aerobic exercise, a
hearty laugh releases the feel-good endorphins in the brain. And the ability to
laugh at oneself--at one's mistakes, even one's pain—helps maintain objectivity
and a balanced perspective on life. Such perspective allows one to confront and
deal with one’s problems rather than be victimized by them.
Number four is
honesty. It would seem silly on the face of it to be cultivating new spiritual
values and not consider one’s commitment to being open and honest, to oneself
as well as to others. But beyond abstract concepts of right and wrong,
dishonesty is bad for our mental health. A lie makes us a fugitive. It means
looking over our shoulders in fear of being caught. Addicts have to tell lies
to maintain their addictive lifestyle. The torment of each lie can be a
provocation to further self-numbing with drugs. It is written in the Gospel of
John, “The truth will set you free,” and so it is.
Number five is the
cultivation of at least one passionate, healthy, ongoing interest or activity,
something that one can look forward to and count on to bring satisfaction. This
interest may center on one's job, a hobby, spending time with family—the
content of the passion, as long as it is healthy, isn’t as important as its
sustained ability to bring enthusiasm to one’s life, a reason to get up in the
morning. As anthropologist Joseph Campbell reminds us, our spiritual wholeness
depends on our finding and following our bliss.
Number six is a
commitment to altruistic activity—being of help to others with no expectation
of personal gain. It is no coincidence that a basic tenet of Alcoholics
Anonymous is that one’s good fortunes will continue only as long as they are
shared with others. Thus, the twelfth step of recovery in AA is the suggestion
to bring the program to other suffering alcoholics and addicts. Volunteering in
hospitals, churches, schools, retirement homes, or other good causes, reflects
the redirection of one’s focus of attention away from oneself and toward
selfless caring relationships with others. And if you need another reason to be
altruistic, research over the past decade has shown that altruistic behavior
also stimulates the release of endorphins in the brain—helping others makes you
feel good!
Number seven is a
daily prayer or meditation practice. For those who embrace a particular faith
tradition, this may mean personal or public religious devotion. For others it
may entail solitary, quiet times of meditation or contemplation. For many in AA
it is daily attention to the presence in their lives of a higher power, as they
have come to define that power. However constituted, it is this characteristic
that represents the bedrock of spiritual discipline.
Number eight is the
cultivation of the practice of being here now. “Be Here Now”—similar in
connotation to AA’s “One Day at a Time” or the Latin poet’s “Carpe
Diem”—represents age-old wisdom. It has become the mantra of the growing
mindfulness movement, and instruction in the techniques of mindfulness, which
have their origins in Buddhism, Taoism, and yoga, are increasingly sought out
by people of every faith tradition. “Now” refers to this moment, right now.
This moment is where we need to be, right here in this room. The most important
thing you can do right now to improve the rest of your life is to be fully
awake to this moment. This idea is essentially the same as the concept of
spiritual awakening—coming alive to our connectedness to the life force. It is
the message in Paul’s warning to the Romans: “You know what time it is…it is
now the moment for you to wake from sleep.” Unfortunately, many people seem to
sleepwalk through life. When they are not actually asleep, they are preoccupied
with the past or future and so they are asleep to the present. Recovering
addicts can’t afford to go through life asleep, for two important reasons.
First, they are in danger of acting out of habit and picking up a drug. Second,
they may miss the glimmer of new possibilities—the new, healthy, soulful reason
to get up in the morning. Being here now is being open to the beauty, wisdom,
and grace that can fill each moment with hope.
Number nine is an
awareness of the transcendent in life. For people with a theistic faith, it may
be a sense of God at work in their lives. For others it may be the experience
of music or nature—a walk on the beach at sunrise, cultivating a window-box
garden in the midst of the city, or caring for one’s grandchildren. When moved
by experiences that go to the core of our being, releasing our deepest love and
sense of peace and fulfillment, we must acknowledge them and make them an
essential part of our lives. Such experiences point us to the true center of
our being.
Number ten is
active participation in a caring community. All the power of the transcendent
in life gets played out in our relationships with our fellow human beings. I
have come to believe that no one heals, no one is restored to well-being in
isolation. And there is no better place to heal and find new meaning than in a
church community, especially a Unitarian Universalist one, where we support each
other’s unique growth in common pursuit of the sacred. Here we can learn to
differentiate good and essential values from potentially disastrous ones. Here
we hold one another gently through births and rebirths. Spiritual healing and
growth happen in community.
So there are my
ten characteristics of one large group of people who have worked hard and often
successfully to achieve a peaceful and graceful life.* Whatever prompts you to
follow a path of spiritual growth, I commend these strategies to you. May you
be here now; may you experience the numinous in this now; and may you be in
community on the journey. Amen.
*In case you didn’t get all of these
down as I was speaking, I will leave a list of the ten lessons so that copies
can be made for anyone who would like one.
Copyright © 2011.